Friday, January 23, 2015

I am so white

Dear people,

Intro: This new "office elder" thing has me doing a lot of great work, but most people wouldn't consider it exciting... So due to the lack of "exciting" things to write about this week, I'm going to put my past week into the whitest rap you ever did see. 

(To the tune of that one rap song by that one black guy) 

"Mail Work" by TJYoungBuck feat. Elder Moss

This last week has gone by a little quicker than most
I've been delivering mission mail like I work for the post 
You best gird your loins for this rap cuz it's gonna be sweet
These rhymes might make your legs woozy, you should pull up a seat

My new companion Elder Moss is a pretty cool kid
The other missionaries wish that they could do what he did
We are both from highland, Utah and attended Lone Peak
Which means he is "World Class" but he still remains meek
I don't know what I'm doing so I follow him around like a creep
His testimony supplies the Spirit, he makes the girls weep 

The way I drive around the mission you should call me Ricky Bobby
Listening to Mo Tab behind the wheel has become my new favorite hobby
On Tuesday I drove for my first "real" time in the city
I drove past all of the sites they show in Walter Mitty
I didn't want to have to speak but I must get this off my chest
NY drivers in the city are low on the scale of 1 to the best
Not because they don't know how to drive their car
But because New York drivers are the most impatient by far
They honk their horn at you even if the stop light is red
They couldn't care less if you crashed and wound up dead
People are in a hurry to get to work so they can make cheddar 
Those souls spend money in hopes that their problems will be better

It kind of makes me wonder how we prioritize our lives 
Seeing people working to earn dollars like God accepts bribes
But who are they supposed to follow? Satan comes from behind
Nobody knows what to chase because the blind lead the blind
But I have a little secret that I'm not trying to hide at all
It's been preached by me, thousands of others, even the apostle Paul
It's a message of a hope that is centered on Jesus Christ
I'm indebted to Him, he's the light of my life
We should be more grateful for the price that He paid
He took our sins upon Him in the tomb they now lay
If we will give up our mistakes and come unto Him 
The light His gospel provides will never fade dim 

Now I'm going to have to end this rap before I wear out my stay 
And honestly I'm just running out of things I can possibly say
So if you haven't already I ask you to get your life back on track 
Good things are found in Christ and that's the message of this rap

 I'm doing super good and I am loving missionary life. I hope anybody that reads this has a good week.

-Elder Tyler "TJYoungBuck" Johanson

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